You ever find yourself staring into the distance, thinking, “Wait a minute... why am I still here? Shouldn’t I have applied for emotional hazard pay by now?” Loving someone in recovery from sex addiction can feel like you’ve been buckled into a rollercoaster you didn’t even want to ride—ups, downs, twists, and turns. Sometimes, you’re upside down, but somehow, you're still hanging on. And let’s not forget those moments when you’re quietly asking yourself, “What is it about this person that I love again?”

Because, let’s be honest, loving someone through this can feel like trying to dance on a minefield. Could I set boundaries and not take it personally when they miss the mark? Probably not. Could they feel safe enough to truly understand what their actions did to me? Eh, doubtful. So here we are, learning to figure this all out—like a confusing board game with no instructions, except with way more emotional baggage (and no “Get Out of Jail Free” cards).

You ever find yourself scrolling through old texts, peeking at someone’s social media, reliving past arguments, or digging up a situation you know is going to make you feel worse, but you do it anyway? Welcome, my friend, to the wild world of pain shopping.

Yeah, it’s a thing. And no, it's not about buying a fancy new exercise machine that will sit in the corner collecting dust while you binge-watch your favorite show. Pain shopping is when we go out of our way to find something that makes us upset or confirms our pain—even when we know it's not good for us. It's like we’ve got a mental shopping cart and, instead of filling it with happiness and cute cat videos, we toss in guilt, regret, and anxiety for good measure.

So, you’ve made it this far in the recovery process, and now you’re hitting a big ol’ brick wall: your partner is still lying or avoiding that full disclosure in therapy. Sound familiar? Yeah, welcome to the not-so-glamorous world of addiction recovery.

Let’s be real for a second—it’s frustrating as heck. You’re doing everything you can to move forward, heal, and trust again, but your partner is still stuck in their patterns. And here’s the kicker: this isn’t the real them. This is the addict talking—the part of them that’s tangled up in shame, guilt, and all the “yuck” that comes with owning up to their actions. It’s like there’s a battle going on inside them, and the side that wants to avoid the truth is winning (for now). But don’t worry, this is part of the process. They’re still at the beginning stages of recovery, and unfortunately, that means there’s a lot of stumbling along the way.

So, you’ve found yourself on this wild ride called partner of a sex addict. I get it. It’s not the fun rollercoaster you signed up for—more like the one where you’re hanging upside down for way too long, and your ice cream is about to make a second appearance. And now you’re supposed to work the first step, "We admitted we were powerless over sexaholism—that our lives had become unmanageable." Powerless? Unmanageable? Sounds like a bad day at IKEA trying to assemble a bookshelf without instructions.