Trust Issues and Healing Together: A Love Story in Progress (With Bonus Legos)

So here we are, navigating this wild thing called healing. Spoiler alert: it’s not as glamorous as social media would have you believe. Forget the sunset-lit selfies of couples holding hands on beaches—healing is more like walking barefoot on Legos in the dark. You know that old saying, “Time heals all wounds”? Yeah, what they forgot to mention is that sometimes, time just gives you more stuff to overthink.

Let’s get real for a second: I will never fully trust another human being again. Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely. And honestly, some days, I wonder if I’ll ever fully trust him again. Do I love him? Of course, always will. But love and trust? Oh, they’re like those awkward cousins at family reunions—related, but sitting at opposite ends of the table, pretending they don’t know each other.

Am I holding out hope that one day trust and love will finally make up and dance together at the punch bowl? Definitely. But for now... well, notsomuch.

The Jaded Life: Now with 100% More Anxiety!

Here’s the thing, I didn’t sign up for a life where jadedness and anxiety were my default settings. But apparently, the universe had other plans. It’s like there’s this invisible weight on my shoulders, making it a tad hard to walk through life with the carefree bounce I used to have. (Okay, fine, I was never really that carefree. My partner would be the first to point that out, and he’s probably right. I’ve always been more “careful planner” than “spontaneous free spirit.” But hey, I’d still like to have the option to be carefree, alright?)

Broken Pieces: The Glue Chronicles

Let me tell you, my husband? Oh, he’s broken. We’re talking cracked, chipped, and held together with a combo of therapy and duct tape. And sometimes, I swear, he’s used me as human glue to keep himself from falling apart. It’s hard to explain, but if I had to sum it up? He’s like a product of his very own chaotic “How to Raise a Messed-Up Adult” childhood kit.

It took him decades to figure out that his childhood wasn’t just “challenging.” (Because, let’s be honest, we’ve all had challenges, right?) No, his upbringing was the kind that leaves you needing therapy, a support group, and probably a Netflix special just to unpack it. His behaviors? Addictive. His coping mechanisms? Well, let’s just say they could use a lot of work. And the worst part? None of it was intentional. But wow, did it leave a mark on both of us. (I’m still carrying some emotional super glue on me, just in case.)

Do I Want a Different Life? Not Really.

Here’s where things get interesting: I’m not dreaming of packing my bags and running off to start fresh somewhere with no emotional baggage. Nope. What I want is to be strong enough to do what’s best for me—and for us. That means learning to love him and myself in the same breath (a tricky balancing act, by the way).

And yeah, trust might never look the way it did before. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe we’re not trying to rebuild what we had—we’re building something new, something stronger, something rooted in way too many hard conversations and more honesty than either of us signed up for.

A Hopeful Reality Check

So, is this journey terrifying? Yup. Is it messy? Absolutely. But here’s the silver lining: there’s hope in the mess. Healing together doesn’t mean slapping on a band-aid and pretending nothing happened. It means we’re staring at the cracks, acknowledging them, and choosing to move forward anyway. Because let’s be real: those cracks? They’re part of the story now.

Will I ever trust him the way I did before? Maybe not. And here’s the kicker—that’s okay. Trust isn’t about rewinding the clock and going back to “the way things were.” It’s about figuring out what’s possible now. And guess what? That’s still hopeful.

So here’s to loving broken people (including ourselves) without losing our sense of humor in the process. Here’s to finding strength in the places we didn’t even know we had it. And here’s to the beautiful, messy, Lego-filled journey of healing together.

And if you ever need a reminder that it’s okay not to have it all figured out, just look at us: walking this path, one wobbly, awkward, barefoot step at a time. Trust might take a while to catch up, but we’ll be here, doing our best. And hey, isn’t that all anyone can ask?