Step 10 - The Art of "Oops, My Bad" (And Other Life Lessons in Admitting We're Human)
Well, look at us now—Step 10! The part of recovery where we get to continue taking a good, hard look at ourselves and… drumroll please… admit when we’re wrong. Fun times, right?
Before you roll your eyes and hit "back" on your browser, let’s take a moment to appreciate how much we’ve grown. We’ve been through the chaos of dealing with sex addiction, managed to keep ourselves (mostly) sane, and now we’re stepping into a new chapter: self-awareness without the melodrama.
Admitting We're Human (Gasp!)
In the past, I was basically a pro at rationalizing my resentment. I had reason to be resentful, right? I mean, come on, with everything my partner had done—how could I not? Resentment was practically my middle name! It felt justified, like it fueled my ability to survive the mess I was in.
But Step 10 has a funny way of showing us that, sure, resentment might have motivated me to act, but it didn’t exactly help me grow. And growth? Well, that’s what we’re aiming for here, right?
Jealousy, envy, self-pity—oh yeah, they’ve all made guest appearances in my personal soap opera of recovery. They’d creep in, usually when I was already feeling insecure or triggered by something my partner did (or didn’t do). My inner monologue went something like, “I can’t believe I’m still dealing with this! Shouldn’t he be better by now? Shouldn’t I be better by now?”
Enter Step 10, where HP (Higher Power) steps in like, “Hey, maybe take a breath, you’re doing fine.”
The Importance of "Oops, My Bad"
Step 10 is all about taking inventory like a mental Costco run, but without the free samples. We’re here to look at our strong points and our weaknesses, and yep, we’ve got to admit when we’re wrong. Because guess what? We’re still human, and we’re still learning.
So, when jealousy or resentment creeps back in (because, let’s face it, they will), it’s about catching it before it snowballs. Admitting, “Oops, my bad. That’s my insecurity talking,” instead of letting it fuel another unnecessary argument. It’s kind of refreshing to just own up to it and move on. Less drama, more peace. (Yes, please!)
HP and Growth: The Ultimate Team-Up
The best part of Step 10? HP is in the co-pilot seat, showing us our growth in real-time. Remember when jealousy used to ruin your entire day? Now it just derails your morning—progress! Remember when you used to stew in resentment for a whole week? Now it’s just a couple of hours—growth!
Step 10 is like a personal progress tracker, letting us see that even though we’re not perfect (spoiler: we’ll never be), we’re making huge strides. And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.
Letting Go of Perfectionism (Finally)
Here’s the kicker: Step 10 isn’t about being perfect. It’s about consistently showing up, taking inventory, and being willing to admit when we’re off course. It’s about catching those sneaky insecurities before they cause too much chaos and having the humility to say, “Yeah, I could have handled that better.”
So, when I feel the old familiar stirrings of resentment or jealousy, I check in with HP, take a breath, and remind myself: It’s okay to not have it all together. I’m growing, and so is my partner. We’re both works in progress, and that’s the beauty of this journey.
Celebrate the Wins (Even the Small Ones)
Step 10 teaches us to celebrate the small wins—like not letting jealousy take over or catching ourselves before launching into a full-blown pity party. Because every time we do that, we’re taking another step forward in our recovery.
So here’s to admitting we’re human, embracing our imperfections, and leaning on HP to guide us through this wild, wonderful, and sometimes ridiculous journey. We’re stronger for it, and every day is a chance to keep growing.
Remember: Keep taking that inventory, admit when you’re wrong (it’s less painful than you think), and give yourself grace. You’ve come so far, and you’re only getting better.
Now go ahead, breathe, and keep moving forward. You’re doing amazing! Have cookie or two to celebrate!