Practical Steps
Recognize the emotional cycle you're stuck in.
Example: "I’ve been feeling trapped in anger and sadness, constantly checking my partner’s phone, yet I know this isn’t helping me heal. I need tools to break free from this destructive cycle."
Believe healing is possible, with the right support and self-care.
Example: "I’ve seen others recover from betrayal, and with the right support from friends, therapy, or support groups, I can build trust in myself again."
Focus on your own recovery and what you can control.
Example: "I can’t control my partner’s recovery, but I can control how I set boundaries, practice self-care, and heal at my own pace."
Write down your feelings, fears, and ways the addiction has affected you.
Example: "I’m going to list the ways I’ve been hurt, like feeling lied to or abandoned, and the fears I have, like being betrayed again."
Share your thoughts with a trusted person who can support you.
Example: "I’m going to talk to a close friend or therapist about everything I wrote down, so I’m not carrying it all by myself."
Identify unhealthy patterns you’ve developed.
Example: "I’ve realized I’ve been shutting down emotionally and lashing out in anger. These are responses that aren’t serving me well."
Begin practicing healthier habits and responses.
Example: "Instead of shutting down, I’ll start journaling my feelings or talking to a trusted person when I’m overwhelmed. I’ll also practice self-compassion by giving myself grace to feel hurt."
Consider ways to make amends for any unhealthy reactions.
Example: "I’ve reacted out of hurt by yelling or withdrawing. I want to apologize for those moments when I lost control, while still holding onto my boundaries."
Make direct amends where appropriate, without causing further harm.
Example: "I’ll talk to my partner about how I’ve reacted, but I’ll make sure it’s in a calm and thoughtful way, without reopening old wounds unnecessarily."
Reflect daily and continue improving your emotional responses.
Example: "I’ll check in with myself each day to notice how I’m feeling and see if there are any moments where I need to correct my actions or reactions."
Incorporate mindfulness practices, like meditation or journaling.
Example: "I’m going to start meditating for 10 minutes each morning, focusing on my breathing and letting go of stress, or I’ll journal each night to release any pent-up emotions."
Stay connected to healthy people and reach out to others who might be struggling.
Example: "I’ll keep surrounding myself with supportive friends, maybe even joining a support group, and be supportive of others in the group who might be struggling with their journey.”
