New Year, New Growth: Staying Positive When Your Spouse Hits the Snooze Button on Recovery
Ah, the new year—a time for fresh starts, grand resolutions, and the annual ritual of writing "2024" on everything and trying to stop.. finally accomplishing it by March. For spouses of sex addicts, it’s also a time to reflect on how far you've come and (deep breath) how far you still want to go.
But let’s be real. Sometimes, just when you’re ready to step into a bright new chapter, your spouse seems to be thumbing through the reruns of the "Lazy Days of Recovery" playbook. Maybe they’ve forgotten what Step they’re on or are treating their sponsor like a distant Facebook friend. But hey, that’s okay—because you’ve got this.
Here’s how to kick off the new year with hope, humor, and just a sprinkle of sass:
1. Celebrate Progress (No Matter How Small)
Maybe your spouse hasn’t called their sponsor in weeks, but hey, they did remember to put the toilet seat down twice this week. That’s growth, right? Recovery is like climbing a mountain, and sometimes they’re just sitting on a rock taking a breather (or staring at the sky). You’re the hiker with snacks and a map. Keep encouraging them to take the next step.
Mantra: "If progress is slow, at least they’re still in the race. (Even if they’re walking backwards right now.)"
2. Laugh, Even When You Want to Scream
You know that thing your spouse does where they swear they’ll journal tonight but fall asleep with the notebook on their chest? Instead of getting annoyed, snap a photo and start an album called "Recovery Nap Chronicles." Humor doesn’t dismiss the seriousness of their recovery, but it can lighten the load you’re carrying.
Pro Tip: If they promise to “do better tomorrow,” reply with, “Cool! Just checking… Ummm did you mean this tomorrow or the one in 2025?”
3. Focus on YOUR Resolutions
Recovery is a team effort, but that doesn’t mean you need to carry both jerseys. What’s your goal for 2025? Maybe it’s more yoga, less doom-scrolling, or finally learning what a “Skooma Embermage” is because your kids (or you.. no shame.. I’m guilty here) won’t stop talking about Magic: The Gathering.
When you focus on your growth, you set an example that shines brighter than any neon sobriety chip. Plus, self-care is the ultimate mic drop.
4. Create Rewards for Effort, Not Perfection
Everyone loves rewards, and the new year is the perfect excuse to bring in some fun. For every step your spouse takes in their program (even the baby ones), celebrate together. It could be as small as a high-five or as big as a Netflix binge night. Positive reinforcement can do wonders—even for adults who sometimes act like teenagers.
Bonus Idea: Start a “Recovery Jar.” Every time they do something recovery-related, toss in a dollar. By summer, you might have enough for a guilt-free weekend getaway—or at least an epic pizza night.
5. Let the Lazy Phase Be a Teaching Moment
If your spouse’s recovery momentum has hit a speed bump, take a step back and ask yourself: What can I learn from this moment? Whether it’s patience, better boundaries, or the ability to find joy in imperfection, there’s always something to gain.
Remember, your spouse’s recovery is their journey, but your growth is your superpower. You’re not just surviving… you’re thriving.
A Toast to 2025
Here’s to a new year filled with belly laughs, progress (even if it’s slow), and a reminder that your best days aren’t behind you—they’re right here, in every small victory, every messy attempt, and every moment you choose hope over despair.
So when your spouse inevitably snoozes their recovery alarm, grab the coffee, give them a nudge, and say:
“Hey, the year’s not going to recover itself. Let’s get moving!”
Because if anyone can face 2025 with grace, grit, and a sense of humor, it’s you. Cheers! 🥂
